Gobble, Gobble

I am thankful this year for so many things; My wife and beautiful kids. My entire family near and far. Our good friends Abby and Dennis for putting us up (and putting up with us!) while we were back east. Bono and the boys. New York rock fans and Madison Square Garden. Hearing and seeing Love and Peace or Else live. My new job/More time with my family/less time in the car!!! The Chargers putting up a ton of points. Pocket Sevens. Books on CD. My men's bible study group. TiVo. The women of SNL. Dave Foley. Wikipedia. Date Nights (yay though they are few and far between). Tiki Barber. Garnier Fructis Conditioner. The Mission Tortilla people. Matt Groening. Don Vito. Venti Black Iced Tea With Sweetener (eight pumps) from Starbucks. The Crock Pot. Hot Chocolate. Dr. Shasta! Jaime, Jack & Stench. Dan Patrick. Mason & Ireland. Blogsterbating. Bartolo Colon. Bill Stoneman (if he lets Washburn go). The grace shown to a sinner like me each and everyday by my amazing collection of family and dear close friends.

Baby on Board

HA! I just totally freaked my mom out with that headline! We were at Disneyland on Thursday and we stopped to watch The Dapper Dans, the barbershop quartet that sings there everyday. They also did the singing voices of the B-Sharps on the Simpsons. I've always wanted to ask them to sing the big B-Sharps number, "Baby on Board" and I finally asked them yesterday. They were done with their set but they still sang it. It was pretty sweet! Abby and I were singing along to the to chorus: "I'm telling you it's mighty nice/each trip's a trip to paradise/with my baby on board.

The Bono Praise Album

The Passion of the Bono

Go ahead — roll your eyes at Bono's persistent messianic complex. But maybe the guy's got good reason to think he's bigger than Jesus. Don't forget, Jesus has had 2,000 years to firm up his reputation, while the U2 singer has been alive only since 1960. And — sorry, Pat Robertson — isn't it about time we got some new blood in the deity department? Here's a side-by-side comparison of history's two most important men:

Jesus: Ascended Karn Hattin in Galilee to deliver his "Sermon on the Mount," telling the decent-sized crowd, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." Since that time, the world has been embroiled in an endless procession of wars, persecution, and genocide — much of which has been undertaken in Jesus' name.

Bono: Ascended the foothills of Colorado to the Red Rocks Amphitheatre during a torrential downpour, where, in front of a sold-out crowd, he waved a huge white flag to dramatically symbolize the need for a peaceful resolution to the troubles in Northern Ireland. Twenty years later, the IRA is all but dissolved and a permanent state of calm seems to have taken hold in Northern Ireland.

Winner: Bono

Jesus: Turned water into wine.

Bono: Turned lousy lyrics by Salman Rushdie into a good song ("The Ground Beneath Her Feet").

Winner: Bono

Jesus: Clashed with the Pharisees, condemning them as self-righteous and hypocritical, and engaged in contentious meetings with them, after which the Pharisees hated him even more.

Bono: Met with ultraconservative Republican Senators Jesse Helms, Rick Santorum, and Orrin Hatch to discuss solutions to the global AIDS crisis, after which Helms called Bono "an enormously impressive gentleman."

Winner: Bono

Jesus: Multiplied loaves of bread and some fish to feed 5,000 people at Tabgha.

Bono: Through countless charitable organizations, speaking engagements, and benefit concerts, has worked to multiply the amount of food and monetary donations sent to Africa, which has helped feed millions.

Winner: Bono

Jesus: Raised Lazarus from the dead.

Bono: Raised U2 from the dead after the Popmart tour debacle.

Winner: Jesus, by the slightest of margins

Jesus: During his lifetime, had only a small contingent of loyal supporters.

Bono: Has already amassed untold millions of loyal fans, selling nearly 150 million albums and regularly packing gigantic stadiums around the world.

Winner: Bono

Jesus: Crucified just once — by the Romans — for blasphemy.

Bono: Crucified countless times — by rock critics, comedians, former fans, and Henry Rollins — for pomposity.

Winner: Bono

Overall winner: Bono. *

*This is meant purely as satire and should provide no grounds for Bono's ego to grow any larger. — Michael Alan Goldberg

As if things couldn't get any worse...

I just got a call from the lady that I got in a "minor" fender bender with. It's going to cost over $700 to fix her car. Since we can't afford insurance without a $2500 deductible, it doesn't make sense to go through insurance, so now we have to magically find 700 bucks that we don't have. It sucks enough that we have no money for Christmas. We're probably just going to have to rack up the credit card a little more, because I'm a flipping moron.

I'm so pissed at myself. It was my last freaking week of commuting to Irvine and I brain-farted, reached down to pick something up and ran into her. I'm such an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!

Changes

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. Started at Citrus on Wednesday. I'm severely overwhelmed right now by everything. I remember having this same anxiety when I started at Concordia 5 years ago. It's wierd to have the same feelings all over again, especially when I am alot more prepared for the job.

I think it's natural to feel this way starting something new. I finally got a desk today (long story), but it's only a table. I'll have a real desk by the end of the week. I don't have access to anything yet, because I don't have all of the software installed on my computer that I need for the website, etc. I'll have a MAJOR job ahead of me in recreating the website. Anytime I meet someone new on campus it's, "Oh, cool, you're going to fix the website!". And yes, I am. It's going to be a long crazy project, though, and the expectations are really high. I know I will meet and even exceed what people think I'll be able to do, but there is a long way to go before I get there.

And then I have to deal with accessibility. Since we're a state school, legally, everything on the web has to be created in such a manner to be accesible to disabled people. I've never had to do this and with a website of the size and magnatude that I plan to create, I fear that this is going to be a major headache for me.

And I'm already having problems with "MIS", the information technology people. My boss jokingly has told me that the MIS is short for MIStake. She warned me months ago that it would be a headache and it is proving to be such.

Not everything is going terribly, though. I LOVE my commute and I am already reaping the benefits of a 40-hour work week. Because of games on Tuesday night and Saturday afternoon, I am going to get all-day Thurdsay off, plus a holiday on Friday (I have like 20 paid holidays at a state school!).