Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Somewhere over the Rainbow

I realize that my reviews haven't had that unique attempt at "humor" that I usually throw out there lately, and I think it's because all of the crap-tacular performers have long gone, and they're the easiest ones to throw the poisoned darts at. Well, maybe it'll be back this week as I have new-found loathing for the troll-boy, for one simple reason: He is NOT an american idol. Simple. He doesn't look like an American Idol and as was evidenced last night, he only sounds like an American Idol about 33% of the time. And if you open your eyes and try to watch the stiff wigger, it just gets worse, again. But more on Mr. Tunnis in a minute.

Let's talk about one of the shining moments in Idol HISTORY: Catherine McPhee rockin the Rainbow. Cat freaking nailed one of (if not THE) biggest moments ever on this show when she blew the roof off of Somewhere Over the Rainbow last night. I still have to consider Fantasia's "summertime" to be the biggest moment for me, because A - It propelled her to victory the next week and, B - I was a fantasia-hater for most of the competition and that completely turned it around and made her my favorite.

Last week I said that Cat phoned it in and wasn't taking it seriously enough. Maybe she was just feeling defeated, knowing that she couldn't do justice to Elvis week, because this week she was on top of her game. Granted, if I knew she was going to do R-Kelly, I would have hoped it was Trapped in the Closet, but I digress... I also thought that her Billie Holiday-ish third song was PERFECT and absolutely what I would love for her to do. Queen Latifah put out a Jazzy type of album last year. I wish we could go back in time and have Cat record that exact album and have Queeny stick to Chicago songs (which she nailed). That jazzy/bluesy stuff is RIGHT where Cat needs to be.

And what about the Ass-soul Patrol? He was good. No, he was GREAT. Taylor is awesome. His moment long passed when he did George Harrison's Something, but he is still a great soul singer.

I have to pick a new number one, since Chris is gone, so who's it going to be? Isn't it obvious from my rant above??!?!

1. Catherine
2. Taylor
3. The Toad-Faced/Buck-Toothed/Less-personality-than-David-Blaine - Elliot

Yeah. Um, what the heck is that guy still doing in this competition?!!?!?!! Nikki McKibben made the top three of season one, so strangers things have happened. I called him a wigger earlier. The dude has ONE move that isn't stiff - He moves his right arm up and down like he's Eminem, or something. This isn't a battle, RABBIT! You freaking sing SOUL music. News Flash - YOU'RE NOT A GANSTA.

Anyway: I have avoided Dial-Idol until after I type my prediction, but I doubt it will change: Elliot will be going home, they will first tell Taylor he is safe.

Now what does Dial-Idol say? ..... Closer than I thought it would be....

5 comments:

Mom said...

Sorry Son - I disagree and am disappointed that Catherine is left to whine about being mistreated. I liked Eliott - he was at least real. Catherine is a spoiled princess diva.

Nick said...

I (shock of all shockers) didn't watch the results show last night, save for 10 seconds when I ran downstairs during Lost to look at our THIRD T.V. to see the Bad-Day montage of who got the boot.

Did something happen last night with Catherine whining?

Mom said...

That was the night before after each performance when they said anything negative. Last night it was the faces when the other two got hometown recognition and she didn't because she lives in LA. (Teeth can be fixed by the way). Take a look sometime at Bob Dylans teeth - ick)

Brant DeBow said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brant DeBow said...

Is this THE Nick Askew? :) This is Brant DeBow, a blast from your past. How are you? Nathaniel Warner found your site and sent it to me and I had to leave a comment. Man, its been so long since I talked to you, and I'd really like to get back in touch. Drop me an email sometime - sarcasmagorical@mac.com.

(Sorry, I left this on a really old post too because I didn't realize that this was the latest one - and sorry its off topic, but I don't see an email on your site :) )